At the crossroads, I see Love dancing in a circle, holding hands with Life. Their dance is joyous and cheeky. I see Sorrow and Despair joining them, their dresses long and heads decorated with veils. The dance slows down, but never stops. Loneliness and Hardship, twins of the earth holding hands now with life, dragging their feet to the sound of the beat.
I see an old friend, familiar Hope, a young girl with rosy cheeks and a flowery scent. Her hopping around makes the dance pick up. In the circle of life, all the women I have ever been, now delight in ecstatic movement and silent conversation. From the girl to the woman, the baby to the crone, they hold each other, the same uncertain skip in their step. They never stop, except to braid each other's hair, sometimes in tears, sometimes just before a big moment.
Above their heads, more women are dancing—women I know by bone and blood. Sisters, mothers, grandmothers, all those who came before. They hold each other as children and care for each other towards the dance’s final moments. Faded but content, they live through me, here, in this magical dance.
From the heavens, it comes—a white light to wash over all of us. Levitating now and twirling, entangled between salt air and magnolia blossoms, gardenias and lilies in our hair. The dance never stops. Life may end, but its circle will not.
The white light breaks me in half. Blinded and alone, I am parched from the sweet nectar taste in my mouth and the salty water quenches my thirst.
Half of me grows translucent, iridescent wings. A long pink dress wraps around my body, and my hair grows longer and darker by the second. My feet cannot touch the ground, so I step in flowers and ask the forest to lend me its potent pine scent to wear. Lilacs and roses await my caress, offering generous shelter in return. A soft pollen bed and sweet honey juice nourish me back to health. The blackbird’s song steadily plays in the background of the mystical gardens where I lay. It reaches me on the lily pads that cradle my rest after my green lake showers. I heal back to myself, the half of me growing into a new kind of wholeness, half future and half past.
The other half of me grows holographic baby blue scales that sew my legs together. Transported into the sea, the saltwater burns like firey medicine to my battle scars. My hair curls up as it used to, bleached by the sun and chamomile tea shampoo. I lay on pillowy soft rocks and let my breasts be kissed by the burning sun. I make friends with fish, turtles, and crabs. Starfish and seashells adorn me as I join dolphins in the joyful underwater ballet. At sunset, I steal the red of the sky and wear it on my lips. Near the shore—the air gifting me pine bobby pins for my hair, courtesy of the ancient pines growing on the sand. The blackbird’s song is sharp, like a paper cut in my eardrum. The water holds this new wholeness of me, so much so that in between waves I forget I was ever split in half.
As the moon is high, a thyrsus now in my hand, my two halves come whole again. They hug and dance and blend into a freeing, peaceful dance. An ode to my wildness, the spirit within, the mythical woman, the untamed being. In crying and screaming, my steps form my soul, its laughter so loud it awakens this floating rock. In spells from my heart to my fingertips, and through my pine wand, the earth comes together, mirroring my soul.
Birds and fish, and worms gather around and tornado their way through the lands and the grounds. The sun guides their glimmering dance, washed over by rain and decorated with snowflakes, all made in my essence's shape. The water, the earth, the fire, the air. The south, the north, the east, and the west. My past, my future, and all that I love gather at my feet and bow in a dance of life so rich, it makes the honey in my mouth taste rusty with tears of every emotion ever felt in this god-painted portrait of blended realms. My dreams bleed into the present—a reality so floral and sweet, it tickles my forearms all the way to goosebumps and the chill of a first kiss.
Nadia.
NADIA.
How do you just blow me away every single week?!?!
This is so gorgeous and enchanting. The most whimsical and colourful syntax. It felt like being lifted into the air by magic and flying through rainbows of wild femininity, soft nature and mystical realms. Every single sentence was so dreamy and vivid. Thank you for sharing this 🩷☁️
So so good💗